How many ears does Davy Crockett have?
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble 07!
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Bugs Bunny !
What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam
roller?
Flatman and ribbon.
Why didn't Superman know he could fly?
Because he didn't know his Cape Abilities!
What's green and purple and goes up and down?
Barney in an elevator.
Why did Captain Kirk go into the Ladies?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before!
Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!
How does Batman’s mother call him in for dinner?
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!
Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
Doctor's Jokes
Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep.
Lie on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a king.
What’s your name?
Joe.
You must be Joe King!
Doctor, doctor, everyone says I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel so tired, I don’t know where I am half the time.
Dentist: Open wide now!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time please!
Doctor Doctor I feel like a bee!"
"Buzz off!"
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m a spoon.”
“Sit over there, please, and don’t stir!”
Doctor Doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice that?
When did I first notice what?
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a goat!"
"How long have you felt like this?"
"Since I was a kid!"
Doctor, Doctor! I'm going to die in 51 seconds!"
"I will be with you in a minute!"
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a needle!"
"I see your point!"
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bridge.
What’s come over you?
So far, three cars, a bus and a motorcycle!
What do you give an injured lemon?
Lemonade!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!
Next please!
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble 07!
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Bugs Bunny !
What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam
roller?
Flatman and ribbon.
Why didn't Superman know he could fly?
Because he didn't know his Cape Abilities!
What's green and purple and goes up and down?
Barney in an elevator.
Why did Captain Kirk go into the Ladies?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before!
Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!
How does Batman’s mother call him in for dinner?
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!
Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
Doctor's Jokes
Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep.
Lie on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a king.
What’s your name?
Joe.
You must be Joe King!
Doctor, doctor, everyone says I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel so tired, I don’t know where I am half the time.
Dentist: Open wide now!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time please!
Doctor Doctor I feel like a bee!"
"Buzz off!"
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m a spoon.”
“Sit over there, please, and don’t stir!”
Doctor Doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice that?
When did I first notice what?
Doctor Doctor, I think I’m invisible.
Who said that?
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a goat!"
"How long have you felt like this?"
"Since I was a kid!"
Doctor, Doctor! I'm going to die in 51 seconds!"
"I will be with you in a minute!"
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a needle!"
"I see your point!"
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bridge.
What’s come over you?
So far, three cars, a bus and a motorcycle!
What do you give an injured lemon?
Lemonade!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!
Next please!